But is it really chaos? Or are there patterns within the chaos? At the beginning stage of writing a book do I tend to always feel overwhelmed? I’d have to say ‘yes’ even though this is only my third experience at it. Right now, my mind feels like there are random explosions of ideas going on. Some seem to pinwheel round in bright colors…and then burst into nothingness. Then there will be a dot of color that repeats itself, and repeats itself until I see there is a pattern to its madness. Some ideas will erupt fully realized, others will simmer in the stew pot, getting more flavorful as time goes on.
Here’s what I know: I know that I have to go through this process even though it makes me want to bash my head against the wall repeatedly. I have to follow the elusive trails of thought to find out if they mean anything or are just red herrings. The birth of a story is not a clean and simple process. It is brightness and dark, explosions and whispers, chaos and patterns. Writing is a messy, painful business at times. But when it works–when it all comes together–oh my, it can be glorious.